From Bella to Roddy
by Mirau
Summary: Dumb as mess letters from Bellatrix to Rodolphus. Playing with the ministry, vampire teeth, sexy pureblooded lips that need mending, bears, affair and subsequent dissing of Avery and his shoes of hotness, ect.  Rated T for sexy talk.


Disclaimer: JKR made Harry Potter and Bella and Rodolphus and Avery smarmy pants : 

Other disclaimer: I'm not a terrible writer XD I made this when I was like 10.

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Dearest,

I'm bored please come home.

Bellatrix

Bella,

Bored already?

Rodolphus

Ro,

Maybe...blinkblink

Bella

Bella,

sigh I can't come home yet...go play at the ministry! Like walk in and just say your name and a random reason why you are there.

Example 1:

Bellatrix Lestrange

Tango Dancing

Example 2:

Bellatrix Lestrange

Therapy

Rodolphus

Ro-Ro,

Fantastic! Oh if i get captured let me torture them for a week before breaking me out, okay?

Bellatrix-the-Tango-Dancer-Extrordinaire

P.S: I don't need therapy!!

Bella

---------------------------------------

3 days later.

Dearest Ro,

Terribly bored, they knew, owl was prolly intercepted; I'm locked in a dark room. No dancing...terribly annoyed, also. Come get me.

Bellatrix-the-most-not-dancing-madness-person-in-a-dark-room- ever...like...seriously

Bella,

Ugh...fine. (sorta enjoyed the quiet without you breaking plates and falling off the balcony) otherwise I'll come get you, tonight most likely. Develop fangs for more smex.

Rodolphus-the-best-most-smartest-death-eater-ever-ever-...ever

P.S: Just work on those fangs okay!? twitch

Ro,

But what if i accidentally bite my lips? My wonderful beautiful smexy hot pureblooded lips?

Smexy-Hotlip-Bellatrix..the 3rd

Bella,

Well then we'll just mend your smexy lips then won't we?

Lip-Mender-Extraordinaire

Rodolphus-bear,

Yes, i suppose we shall.

Mended Lips

Bella,

Oh, were coming to get you, I'm bored with the quiet...finally.

Bored with all the quiet and most definitely yours,

Rodolphus-...wince bear. --'

Ro-bear,

THANKYOUOMGTHANKYOUSROROBEARYOUARESORTASMEXYCOMPAREDTOMEIMUSTADMIT.

-Bellaisthashex

((Ro-bear165 has signed on to Portable Parchment Chat))

Ro-bear165: Okay first of all why are you still messaging (not massaging!) me! We are on the same broom, i'm not quite sure what your problem is with this "OH! LETS STALK RO-BEAR, along with adding much caps lock, just to annoy him!"

Bella-boo78: For the love of Avery i was just kidding!

Ro-bear165: AVERY!? so now you are cheating on me in interests of having a fling with that smarmy filthy little thing that should be grateful to have been blessed with a name at all!!!??? AVERY1111!!! OF ALL PEOPLE!!!

Bella-boo78: sneer Avery is looking pretty damn hot right now compared to you.

Ro-bear165: le gasp

((Avery-shoesHotness has joined Parchment Chat at the alarm of hearing his hot name))

Avery-shoesHotness: Bella my smexy little friend how are you?

((Avery-shoesHotness Status is now "Hitting on Bellatrix Lestrange"))

((Ro-bear156 Status is now "Hiding in a corner"))

Avery-shoesHotness: So...Bella, tortured any muggles without inviting your hot stalker compadre?

Bella-boo78: If by 'hot' you mean YOU than no...i don't believe i have or ever shall now go blind yourself with lumos or something.

Avery-shoesHotness: Ooh, Bella you are alot brighter than lumos to me.

Bella-boo78:...poetic...disgusting...

Avery-shoesHotness: Poetic? Can do, My love for you shines like a thousand pictures of myself lined up infront of a flashlight.

Bella-boo78: Shove that muggle flashlight up your arse hopefully it will make you brighter than a damp match besides if you had a bunch of pictures of yourself it would be a miracle how they got the camera to keep from shattering into a million assorted pieces, your pictures probably suck the light from everything around them like a black hole.

Avery-shoesHotness: Ooh, cold bella...very cold.

Bella-boo78: Damn right I'm cold, i hope my coldness makes the St. Mungo's doctors amputate your writing hand then i'd be one less a-hole talking to me without propriety, Besides Avery i'm married to a hot, rich,smexy hot guy whos name i fail to remember, get a life.

((Avery-shoesHotness has left the chat))

Ro-bear156: YAY BELLA! That was me i was testing you to see if you were loyal to me or you just crumpled in the arms of any man who gave you a cookie. YOU PASS WITH MANY FLYING SHINEY COLORS!

Bella-boo78:That was YOU?? Wow you sounded alot like him...o0

Ro-bear156: bows

((Broom suddenly plummets then regains balance due to the two maniacs riding the damn thing))


End file.
